The love you carry, sees you through.💙


Photo credit: A Piece of Oakley


One Comment Add yours

  1. hconeil1957 says:

    I have a daughter.. Aleia Sephine.. Boo Boo Butkin..
    MONKEY BUTT.. My first nickname for her.. On the Divergent.. Cornelia de Lange Syndrome her diagnosis… Severely impacted across the board… Primarily “Non Verbal”.. 17 years old now… I keep everything about her “locked away” inside of me.. Hide her memory from myself even.. Had no thoughts of her at all, when first I read YOUR WORDS, about your own little wild one.. Which I identified with personally… And then.. You know how it is maybe.. I didn’t know, what I didn’t know? But its like having an “itch” in my “situational awareness emotionally”.. I lose my words, and just have to “feel things”, I don’t even know what it is.. Like this slow motion whrlpool of images that I cannot see clear enough to know what they are..?? Feelings the same, not quite knowing what they are either..?? APHASIA ? My “MELT DOWN”… I finally couldn’t fight it off… And started to remember Aleia.. And feeling that “COMPULSION”.. to share something to ypi, of her? Our relationship..? How it was with us 2.. But I know not what, if anything? What value it could possibly have? I think, I always thought that we are unique unto ourselves.. Those of my kind, or like My daughter.. Maybe like nothing that worked for us? Could work for some other, because they were “something other”… But I was wrong about that.. I know that your son has some qualities just like me, and maybe like Aleia too.. There is some kind of “interconnection” between us all.. Even if I can’t know what that means… 1 time I can share her with you.. I did.. I wrote it all night long.. It is on my page now… But I am broken again..Inside.. Don’t know anymore what might happen next, or where any of this is leading to.. I have lost my main obsession.. Its really messing me up too.. Because I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore.. I used to always know, always had a reason to be… Its really fucking scaring me…. But I owe something to those kind ones who never got to know, that they did touch me.. I can remember some people who would hug me tight sometimes..To keep me from hurting myself. Their faces.. So I make a payment on that debt which I have.. Share my little Monkey Butt girl to you 1 time, I can do.. I don’t know about tomorrow..


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