We forget to see the now.

This is a constant struggle for me. I constantly fight to enjoy the now. To enjoy my son’s smile, laughter, and to stop worrying about what the future holds for for him.

The easy part is loving you.

We have officially started the two weeks off from school due to Christmas vacation. And it’s difficult not to compare this time to January of this year, and all the hurt and pain that we had to endure due to what the other teacher did to our son. It was just such a difficult time…

Open doors.

As I was getting ready to go to an all day meeting, I’m in my office and I quickly check Facebook. I get a notification that I have memories. And in there is a video, where my monkey was less than a year old, and my husband is asking him to count. I’m recording, my…

We will be okay.

The monkey loves to be outside with his doggies and jump on the trampoline. What I love about our backyard is that it is secure. The gates are locked and he is unable to get out. When he jumps, I leave the doors open and I roll up the blinds from all of our windows….

Severe.

Severe. That’s the word that was used to describe my monkey for the first time by his pediatrician. Severe. I think we have known for some time that my son was on the severe side of the spectrum. I just think we tried to not face it. I remember a few years back when my…

I have control in how I face them.

I have inner struggles on a daily basis. When I see a little boy getting his hair cut without any issues. And yet I know how the simple sound of the clippers makes my son scream in agony. When I hear moms talking about the Halloween costumes their kids want to wear, and yet my…

Much worse.

Today, the monkey and I had just gotten back from doing a little bit of shopping. It’s been a really good day and he’s just been behaving amazing. He’s been happy, smiling, and just very calm. I normally don’t take him shopping with me by myself, but he was doing so good that we ventured…

Our bad days.

The monkey used to love it when we would pick him up at therapy. My parents would drop him off, and my husband and I , after we would get out of work, we’d pick him up and bring him home. And he would be so happy hugging us throughout the ride home. But lately…