Feel so lost.

On Mondays my parents take the monkey to speech therapy. My dad drives, the monkey sits behind him, and my mom sits in the back, next to the monkey.

Today they were driving back home, the monkey saw that they were passing Albertsons. He usually gets excited and starts to flap his hands as they drive by it.

But today, he got upset.

Maybe he wanted to stop and go inside? (which they never have before) Maybe a car was blocking his view? Maybe my dad was going faster than what the monkey wanted?

No idea.

But he got so upset he reached towards my dad’s face to scratch him. Since he was driving, my mom tried to stop the monkey. He turned around and started hitting her. She tried to stop him and as she did this, she injured her shoulder, the one that she had surgery a few years back. Eventually she was able to control my son.

As they got home, I go outside and notice my mom’s struggling to get out of the car. She’s crying. 💔 She’s in pain, a lot of pain. If she doesn’t feel better, we will take her to the night clinic.

And my heart is broken.

My son saw that she’s crying and he runs to kiss her and hug her to try to make her stop being sad. I’m not sure if he understands that he did this.

They leave and I sit with him. I’m telling him he’s not allowed to hurt people that love him. Yet he’s so happy and wants to play with his doggies and swing on his swing.

And I’m not letting him play. I keep showing pictures of my parents and telling him he’s not allowed to hurt them.

He notices that I’m sad so now he’s trying to make me feel better by hugging me and kissing me.

I just don’t know if I’m getting thru to him.

I just feel so lost. 💔💔💔💔 😪😪😪

Photo credit: Walk Down Autism Lane


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