We got this.

We kept seeing small puddles on our dining room for a few days in a row. We thought it was Bella, our older golden retriever. But we would never actually catch her doing this. And this is so unlike her.

Meanwhile the  monkey is still struggling to shower. He hates it. To avoid the long meltdowns, we use perineal skin cleaner all the time.  But we still  force the monkey to shower every now and then.  Once we force him to shower, he only wants to shower, for hours on end. And he doesn’t stop crying.  Last week, after a fight for him to shower, he had been under running water for about 45 minutes when I noticed the puddle downstairs again. That’s when I realized it was not our dog, but the upstairs shower. My husband took out some tile to see what the issue was. After pulling out more and more tile, we realized there was mold everywhere. A small leak had caused a lot of damage.  He pulled all of the mold and now we have a huge hole. In order to make sure the monkey didn’t fall inside, he covered the door to the shower with plywood. He will start working on the shower this weekend.

The monkey doesn’t understand this. He keeps going to the bathroom and stares at the plywood. He has tried to take it down and is genuinely confused. He stares at the wood and keeps asking on his iPad: “I want to shower please.”

Sunday morning, my husband said he needed to shower. Even though we have been using the perennial cleanser on the kiddo, he still needs to shower. We talked to him about showering in my daughter’s shower. After the long  battle, he cried for over an hour. He didn’t fight us, he wasn’t angry. He was just scared.

And this is the difficulties with most kiddos on the spectrum. Change is hard. Their norm changes and they are unsure how to process this. And with this pandemic going on, I cannot imagine just how much their coping mechanisms have been tested.

A few nights ago, we made the terrible decision of showering him at night before bedtime.  He cried past midnight. And once he went to sleep, we were all exhausted. But then at 3:00 a.m. he woke up again to shower and cry.

I remember telling my husband how this meltdown was exhausting.

Saying change is hard for this kiddo is an understatement.

My daughter’s boyfriend gave the monkey a small fish tank  for his birthday. He set it up for us last night in the monkey’s bedroom. Once the set up was complete, the monkey stared at it for a long time. And this morning, he woke up and went straight to the fishes. 

During this morning’s class, he was very calm.  He did his work and would keep looking at the fishes swim.  The fish tank has a calming effect on him. It’s wonderful.

This kid has been struggling a lot lately, but we are so lucky to have such a great team behind him, to support him along the way. I’m so grateful for our village.

We are in unprecedented times. But with support and love, we can overcome this. ♥️

We got this my monkey. We got this.


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