Asking for help.

The pandemic has made the monkey more reclusive. Before he struggled to go to unknown places but now he has a phobia. He screams and cries as if someone is actually physically hurting him. My husband started a new job around October. Due to the quarantine guidelines, we were not able to visit his office. Now that the guidelines have lessened, we still social distance and wear masks, but at least visitors are welcomed, we were able to see his office

But the few times that we have taken the monkey, he is terrified. He seems to be in agony because of the fear that he feels.

A few weeks back, we had an autism event at the school where my husband works. Because it’s an autism event, you would think my son should attend. But we talked this thru and realized he’d be miserable. We made a few attempts the days before to visit the school. But the monkey wouldn’t get out of the car. His fear was too much.

So for this event, we had to figure out how to get a sitter. The sitter that we had scheduled a few weeks back had cancelled a day before the event. I told my husband that I wouldn’t be able to attend. Or we could go and most likely I’d have to wait in the car with the monkey.

My husband kept naming people, suggesting different sitters for our son. I finally told him you can’t just name people. The amount of trust that I have to feel, in order to let someone take care of our son, who is nonverbal and can’t tell me a thing, is huge. I will not be comfortable with just anyone. Last minute plan changes of sitters is not something an autism household can handle.

He finally mentioned a very dear and close friend of ours. And I told him that if she’s available, I would be okay.

When my husband called her, she immediately said yes. And made plans with us on the specific details.
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She arrived early the day of the event. And the first thing she told me was, “Thank you for trusting me with your son.”

She understood how difficult it is for me to trust and she appreciated this.

When the event was done, and we arrived home, the first thing the monkey did was get my keys and tried to open the door for me to leave. I’ve seen him do this to other people, therapists, teachers, even relatives where he tries to kick them out. But he’d never done this to me!

He wanted ME to leave! 🤣

And this is his way of communicating to me that he was safe, he was happy, and he was having fun with our dear friend.

I hadn’t realized that asking for help, when it comes to our son, was something so difficult for me to do. It’s an internal struggle for me to remember that asking for help is not a sign of weakness.

And this experience showed me that in the end, the monkey was not only safe, he was happy too. ❤️

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