It’s 2a.m and this kid is wide awake Second day in a row. We stayed in a cabin this past weekend and the monkey woke up at 4 a.m. every day.

My husband and I tag team this but the exhaustion is so difficult. How’s one supposed to function with a few hours of sleep every night? I’ve noticed little things slip my mind more than the usual. Last time I asked my daughter what time was she going to go to work and she said I had asked her three times already that morning. Last week I was in a red light on my way to work, my second cup of coffee almost gone. And a car behind me honked letting me know the light had turned green. I didn’t realize I had closed my eyes and had fallen asleep. This worried me so much. It’s too dangerous to ride in this condition. So yesterday I asked my daughter to drop me off. I didn’t feel safe being behind the wheel.

Last night after about two hours of being awake, I finally asked my husband to take over. In the morning he told me how glad he was that he was not impatient with the monkey. He didn’t lose his patience at 4 a.m. even though the monkey was struggling a lot.

I sent a message to his teacher yesterday morning. I told her the monkey may be tired. She said she noticed this because in how he looked getting out of the bus.

Yesterday I finally reached out to his pediatrician. I hate that we give the monkey meds for sleeping. I’ve always felt this guilt. We have tried different teas and many other suggestions I had read online. Nothing has worked. Deciding to give him meds at six years old was such a difficult decision. And now asking to increase the dosage because obviously it isn’t working, well the guilt is much more.

But he’s been in the same dosage since he was in kindergarten. I figured maybe it’s time for a change. His pediatrician prescribed a little more. He wants to start slow and see how the monkey responds to this change. He said to give it a week and call him to give him a status.

Well first night with a different dosage and he’s wide awake. By wide awake I mean jumping up and down, swinging downstairs on his indoor swing, and singing at the top of his lungs.

At least he’s a happy kid at 2 a.m.

For now, we will simply keep trying. And hopefully we get to to sleep some more as the meds kick in.

Photo credit: SLAP (Strong Loving Autism Parents)