Driving at 2, 3 am while the monkey is humming to his favorite song over and over, I can’t stop my mind from wondering. I see how everyone is asleep. The emptiness of the street makes me feel that we are just not part of this world. How is it possible that 6 or more hours of sleep is standard while my husband and I run on an average of 2 to 3?

I saw a movie a while ago where no one would sleep. The world is going crazy because humans can’t function. I’m thinking that my husband and I would thrive in this situation. With our years of training, we’d be able to help humanity find a cure! 😆 🤣

But these middle of the night drives feel lonely. If I could at least hear some news, that’d help me distract my mind. But the same song over and over again doesn’t help.

I do get a lot of comfort in that the monkey is happily singing in our drives. In the news I see the constant faces of what this war is doing to families. Parents doing everything they can to protect their kids by leaving their home towards the unknown. My son on the other hand is in a warm car, safe and happy. This doesn’t make my struggle any less, but different views give different perspective.

I’m going to keep driving as much as I can hold on. I want to let my husband sleep a much as possible since he already drove for a couple of hours while I slept

I want to end with this. If you do know a special needs family, reach out. Don’t say: Call me if you need anything because chances are we won’t. Just send coffee. Stop by with some wine. Offer to watch the kids for a bit while they take a long shower. Our struggles are in silent. Don’t wait until they reach out or ask for help, because most likely we won’t.

Small gestures mean so much. Autism is hard. But loving you my monkey, that part is easy.