This post was written this past Monday. I wasn’t sure about posting it but decided to. Good and the bad. Our autism life. 💔

The monkey hates showers now. He used to love them and now he hates them. We’ve been debating on getting him waterless shampoo and wipies to clean him to avoid the horrible meltdowns.

Yesterday I accidentally cut my finger as I was washing dishes. One of the plates broke and I was bleeding a lot. It took my husband a few attempts to stop the bleeding. And man does it hurt. I took the day off because I can’t type well.

My husband, left to the hardware store so it was just the monkey and myself. He had an accident so I told him he had to shower. I should have known better. His meltdown was tough, very tough.

As I’m drying him off he starts hitting his head because he’s struggling. I’m telling him it’s going to be okay we are going to get thru this and I keep telling him not to hit his head. As I’m trying to stop him from hurting himself, I accidentally hit my thumb and I start to bleed a lot.

I run to the first aid kit. The monkey is following me and hitting his head. He’s unaware of the trail of blood I’m leaving. I’m able to get gauze and tape to stop the bleeding. But I’m in so much pain. I don’t have the energy to stop the monkey from hitting himself much less from cleaning up.

We were having such a wonderful evening. And in a matter of ten minutes I lost it. It drained me.

Autism won today.

And that simply sucks. 💔