Today my son asked to shower. After he was done, he went to his room. He picked out and put on underwear, shorts, and a t-shirt.

In typical households, these things would have been a normal day. But in ours, this is a huge celebration. These past two weeks we’ve been trying to potty train him again. It’s been evenings, nights, entire days of meltdowns. My arms are covered in scratches from the struggles the monkey has been having.

I’m physically and emotionally drained.

Many times I’ve thought of just giving in. Let him retrieve to diapers. But then I feel that if I do, all the progress we have made is out the window. And eventually we will need to cross this road again.

I didn’t realize how emotional this has been on me. I was talking to our in-home-trainer the other day. She has brought us PECs and a social story to help the monkey understand what’s going on in his body when he poops. The goal is for him not to be afraid.

But when I was talking to her I lost it. I was crying so much. I didn’t realize I had it all bottled in.

The monkey’s sensor processing disorder attributes to his pooping issues. He tries to avoid it as much as possible. It makes him not only uncomfortable but he gets scared too. Which is why he struggles so much.

Showers have been a nightmare for some time. And we really have to plan when he gets them so that he has enough time to decompress. We can’t give him spontaneous showers because his meltdowns have been lasting for hours.

Clothes has been another obstacle. He only wants brown pants and hates to wear underwear. Every time we’ve tried to get him to wear anything else, he gets upset. I have found underwear inside his fish tank, toilet, trash cans, and hidden in between sofa cushions.

So today when he asked to take a shower, and then after that he got his own clothes and dressed himself?

Yeah. That’s pretty huge news. ❤️

We are very proud of you my monkey. I know change is hard. And I’m so proud of you to face your fears and trust me enough to make sure you will be ok.

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